my mouth tastes like poor choices
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
