Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
