He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
