If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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