What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
