How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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