if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
