I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
