I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
