I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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