everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
