i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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