Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
