i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
