There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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