Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
