i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
