youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
