omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
