I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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