had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
