chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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