i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
