I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
