so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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