Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize