Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
