Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was confusing and full of hummus
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
