ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
