Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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