her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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