Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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