I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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