dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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