I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
