so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
