just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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