So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
