No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize