Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
