Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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