Please, let me fuck your mom
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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