Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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