smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
