So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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