sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
