We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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