she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
