I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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