we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
