Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
