Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This baby is an asshole
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
