There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
