I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
