Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
farters have to be the big spoon...
smell my finger.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
