If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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