He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
