There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I had to cum in my sink.
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