shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
