we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
