Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
