Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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