Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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