I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
