is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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