god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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