remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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