Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This house was built for laser tag.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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