You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
