I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
