Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
